My friend's father passed away yesterday and it got me thinking about how as we get older we are affected so much more, both in frequency and emotional intensity by death. Not just in the actual dying or "passing away" to put it more sensitively of those known to us, but also in the looming possibility of their demise, in the event that it is not sudden, but long and drawn out, associated with, for example...a terminal disease...HIV/AIDS is one that has affected most, if not all Africans and then of course, there is Cancer which seems to be as rampant as the common cold in recent years, amongst many others.
As young adults, we have ALL lost someone by now. Some of us having lost both parents before our thirtieth birthdays, some earlier, some our own children, siblings, extended family and friends. In March 2008 I lost my father and my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon and Carcinoid Cancer, so death and I have dueled, once He won and now I constantly feel his threatening presence hovering over my Queen, my mother. It's HARD! The combination of emotions that we are now aware of or able to feel so deeply as "grown ups", sadness, pain, fear, anger, frustration, guilt, hopelessness, helplessness and more..."insert yours here" can be crippling.
We are here now, LESSONS LEARNED and having come this far, most of us would probably not want to go back in time and start all over again, but do you remember how differently death affected you when you were younger? Close your eyes and remember as vividly as you can your earliest experience with death...how differently the child's mind perceives it, assuming off course that you were a child, life is different for us all. I was about 9 years old when my favorite uncle died, suddenly in a car accident. I remember running around with the other kids at his funeral, laughing, happy even, I don't think I quite understood at that point that he was NEVER coming back. Fast forward to the present, decades later and I tremble at the mere thought of losing a loved one, I have woken up in the wee hours of the morning, sweating, my heart racing and scrambled to call my brother in a different country because of a DREAM, a DREAM in which he died. What more if it were a reality?
GROWING PAINS.
I dedicate this blog to all of you whose loved ones are terminally ill, have lost loved ones and who will lose loved ones and to the loved ones who leave us behind, let our love for each other be eternal, surpassing space and time.
Thank you for stopping by,
AfricasHeiress.
